FUNNY MONEY QUOTES

“A father is someone
who carries pictures
in his wallet
where his money used to be”
— unknown

"A rich man is one who isn't afraid

to ask the salesperson

to show him something cheaper." 

- Jack Benny

“The rich.

You know why they’re so odd?

Because they can afford to be.” 

–Alexander Knox

"Women prefer men

who have something

tender about them 

– especially the legal kind." 

-Kay Ingram

“If you think nobody cares

if you’re alive,

try missing a couple of car payments.”

– Earl Wilson

“Every day, I get up
and look through the Forbes list
of the richest people in America.
If I’m not there, I go to work.” 
– Robert Orben

“The safest way

to double your money

is to fold it over and

put it in your pocket.” 

– Kin Hubbard

“There were times

my pants were so thin

I could sit on a dime

and tell if it was heads or tails.” 

-Spencer Tracy

"If you can count your money,

you don't have a billion dollars."

-J. Paul Getty

"When I was young I thought

that money was the

most important thing in life;

now that I am old

I know that it is."

-Oscar Wilde

“Always try to rub up

against money,

for if you rub up against

money long enough,

some of it may rub off on you.”

―Damon Runyon

“The hardest thing in the world

to understand is the income tax.”

―Albert Einstein

“What’s the good of money?

It can’t buy happiness.”

―Agatha Christie

“Anyone who says money

can’t buy happiness

doesn’t know where to shop.”

―Joanna Lee

“Never spend your money

before you have it.”

—Thomas Jefferson

“It’s amazing.

The moment you show cash,

everyone knows your language.”

―Aravind Adiga

"Empty pockets never held

anyone back.

Only empty heads

and empty hearts

can do that." 

- Norman Vincent Peale

"Time is more valuable

than money.

You can get more money,

but you cannot get more time."

-Jim Rohn

"Laughter is the only currency

I’ve really ever known. 

Ever since I was a boy." 

– Bob Mortimer

‘Laughter is the

mind’s intonation.

There are ways of laughing

which have

the sound of counterfeit coins.’ 

– Edmond de Goncourt

"The weeping of an heir

is laughter in disguise." 

– Publilius Syrus

"I know that money is precious

– but, at least to me,

laughter and expression

are even more so." 

– Kat Timpf